Push-Pull Signals: reading someone who comes close and pulls away
They say they miss you, then go cold; suggest meeting, then draw a line again. Why it happens and how to stay steady.
Why the back-and-forth
Feelings remain, but a worry ('won't the same problems come back?') or pride ('I won't be the one to return') hits the brakes. It's a car with both pedals pressed, lurching forward and stopping.
The common mistake
Asking 'so what are we?' the moment they come closer, hoping to lock it in. Someone who isn't sure yet will step back again when faced with that question.
Staying steady
When they come closer, receive it warmly but don't step further in. When they pull away, don't chase; carry on with your life. End conversations a little before they do. Repeat that rhythm and they learn that this time, they have to make the move.
When to let go
If the same pattern has repeated for months and your days rise and fall with their mood, that's no longer waiting; it's being worn down. Say 'I need time to think too' and step back.